This weekend was a hard one to handle! I found out that two people whom I care about are in the ICU down in Ventura. An Aunt and a second Cousin both due to health issues. In the last few years I have had a lot of trouble "believing" in anything. In a god or a higher power or what have you. And this weekend I have just felt numb and lost and want to cry but can't seem to shed a tear for the life of me. I have just basically been going through the motions of living my life.
Today I woke up from a terrible dream, one where I received the call that one or both of my loved ones passed away. The same dream that I had been fighting all night. I didn't want to get out of bed. I just wanted nothing more than to lay there in my numbness that I have been dealing with all weekend. Then my little one began to wake and I slowly came to life. As if she knew that something was wrong she greeted me with a beautiful three tooth smile.
She then reached up for me and let out the most amazing giggle. Now, keep in mind that she wakes up in a good mood 99% of the time. But today something was different. For some reason I felt like weeping. The thought that neither of these people have had the chance to meet my little blessing just brought tears to my eyes and I let out a deep sigh. Just then she looked me right in he eye as if to tell me it will all be okay. Then she gave me one of her famous "big hugs." Grunts and all. And I just fell to my knees and hugged her back. It's amazing how "big hugs" make everything okay.
Today I woke up from a terrible dream, one where I received the call that one or both of my loved ones passed away. The same dream that I had been fighting all night. I didn't want to get out of bed. I just wanted nothing more than to lay there in my numbness that I have been dealing with all weekend. Then my little one began to wake and I slowly came to life. As if she knew that something was wrong she greeted me with a beautiful three tooth smile.
She then reached up for me and let out the most amazing giggle. Now, keep in mind that she wakes up in a good mood 99% of the time. But today something was different. For some reason I felt like weeping. The thought that neither of these people have had the chance to meet my little blessing just brought tears to my eyes and I let out a deep sigh. Just then she looked me right in he eye as if to tell me it will all be okay. Then she gave me one of her famous "big hugs." Grunts and all. And I just fell to my knees and hugged her back. It's amazing how "big hugs" make everything okay.
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